What do you call a self-righteous person?
Self–righteousness (also called holier-than-thou attitudes) is a feeling or display of (usually smug) moral superiority derived from a sense that one’s beliefs, actions, or affiliations are of greater virtue than those of the average person.
Self–righteousness is dangerous and damaging to our relationships, our teams, and our ability to communicate and collaborate. Removing our self–righteousness is a challenging but important thing for us to do as leaders, people, and those who want to positively influence and impact others.
I want to share with you few deadliest signs of self-righteousness.
Sign no. 1: Self-righteous people repel others
Have you ever been around a person who made you feel uncomfortable, unrighteous, and guilty because you can see how he OBVIOUSLY show his righteousness? This person constantly rubs on your face his righteous acts and in the process, unconsciously PUT PEOPLE DOWN. As a result, you don’t like to make friends with this person because he has this aura of making you feel inferior.
That’s exactly what self-righteousness does.
IT REPELS PEOPLE. For example, Admin WhatsApp group remove the person by claiming that member had done indiscipline or misconduct or misbehaviour for not endorsing him.
On the other hand, genuine righteousness DRAWS people toward himself.
Have you seen such type of person nearby? Of course, yes
Sign no. 2: Self-righteous people parade their good works
They love to PUBLICLY display their righteousness to people. They were “wearing their righteousness outwardly.”
Self-righteousness is more of the outward manifestation rather than an inward conversion of the person.
For Example: if they had done some work or charity, they will share the pics on social media to display this look I had done this good work. Have you notice this type on thing on Facebook or WhatsApp group? Of course, yes
Sign no 3: Self-righteous people are uncompassionate
Being self-righteous makes you a person without much compassion.
Why?
Because you see other people full of faults, mistakes and you don’t understand why they are that way. You have a hard time looking into yourself and REALIZING THAT YOU ALSO HAVE A LOT OF UNCHECKED PROBLEMS. Instead of being compassionate, self-righteous people are very critical of others. Always finding mistakes in others not in themselves. Have you seen such type of person nearby?
Of course, yes
Sign no. 4: Self-righteous people hate and condemn others
Whenever you are in the presence of a thief, adulterer, extortionist, or somebody who have committed something wrong, does it make you feel uncomfortable? A self-righteous person hates sinners instead of just hating their sins.
The danger with self-righteousness is it makes you believe that you are in the position of God. You CONDEMN people and pass permanent judgment. For example, you had done misconduct or misbehaviour
You determine who will be part of God’s kingdom and who will not.
True righteousness loves the sinner but hates the sin.
Have you seen such type of person nearby? Of course, yes
Sign no. 5: Self-righteous people love the approval and praises of men
Among the motivations of a self-righteous person is to gain approval from people. He wants to look righteous, so people hold him in high regards. This is exactly what some people do. They did their alms in front of many people, disfigured their faces when fasting, loved to sit at the best seats in the temple or social gathering, and enjoyed being called with titles, just to name a few.
Sadly, they have their rewards. They have not waited for a far GREATER reward that only God can give them.
Here’s food for thought:
Some people had posted something on Social media i.e. Facebook or WhatsApp then they will call you to endorse them. They need approvals from others
Have you seen such type of person nearby? Of course, yes
Sign no. 6: Self-righteous people list their good works
Have you ever noticed how hard it is for us to forget the good things we have done to other people? Every time we do something good, we have this little notepad in our brain or we share it on Facebook or WhatsApp where we list all our good deeds. Afterward, we add them all up and show ourselves and others how righteous we are!
When we do this, we forget that our righteousness is just like FILTHY RUGS Our righteousness pales down to nothing when compared to the righteousness of God.
In reality, it is not our job to list our good deeds. It is God’s
Have you seen such type of person nearby? Of course, yes
Sign no. 7: Self-righteous people reject correction
If we remain self-righteous, time will come that it will make us callous. We hold on to our self-righteousness and it will harden us. And by the time when we need to be corrected, PRIDE sets in, and we become unteachable.
This hardness of heart may spring from the belief that you know almost everything, that you already know what the scripture says, and nothing new can impress you anymore. You think that there’s nothing to learn anymore and you won’t let anybody tell you what to do. We have become too vain in our thinking that we won’t allow anyone to point out where we might have got it wrong.
For example, you might have seen if you try to correct somebody on social media, they will try to block you or remove you from the group. Because they reject correction.
True righteous people possess a child-like attitude.
Have you seen such type of person nearby? Of course, yes
Sign no. 8: Self-righteous people think of themselves as important
Sometimes, in our zeal and passion in doing work, we fall into the trap of thinking that it’s all about US.
We look at the results of our work and say, “Wow! Look how many people came to me for help!” “Did you just see that? I just inspired the whole group with POSTS!”
“Look at how much I am doing for the work of the people. I’m sure the people or group won’t grow without me.”
This type of thinking is focused on the SELF. Self-righteousness literally means “SELF-RIGHT”
Have you seen such type of person nearby? Of course, yes
Sign no. 9: Self-righteous people wallow in self-pity
Every time a self-righteous is chastened he sulks in self-pity. Instead of seeing trials and challenges in life as a way to develop godly righteousness, they would instead pity and prevent themselves from developing the ENTHUSIASM to fight back.
When we are corrected for our self-righteous arrogance, we must have a positive attitude, learn the lesson, and overcome. That’s the only way we can destroy the shackles of self-righteousness that restrict our spiritual growth.
Have you seen such type of person nearby? Of course, yes
How to deal with self-righteous person
Don’t Pay Attention to Them
Self-righteous people thrive on attention, it’s why they start things or unnecessarily continue things. When confronted by them, don’t give them what they want. You may agree with them, disagree with them, kind of sympathize with them- just don’t show it or say anything. Let your silence and inaction speak for itself.
Because whether or not you agree or disagree, your reaction props them up, validates them. Let them fall, let them stay crazy outsiders. Apparently, they’re enjoying it, will come up with some excuse. You can never be too oppressed or misunderstood, or other underserved sympathetic adjectives.
As long as there have been people, there have been self-righteous people. With toxic, addictive personalities that they totally don’t believe that they have. Although you may feel the urge to strike back, don’t. Let those toxins seep in, let their true colours show.
Agreeing to Disagree
Do you think you’re ever 100% wrong? No, who does, at first? However, if you can say you might be a percentage higher than 0% wrong, that’s a step in the positive direction. Not a step that anyone enjoys, but a step you have to take.
A very important step that leads to agreeing to disagree, and eventually knowing when to lose. And accepting that, and that it’s fine, it happens to everyone. It’s a true sign of maturity.
Which is why some people need a push in that direction, example. Be that example, disagree with people, but still respect them. Try not to forcibly change them, you can’t be friends with everyone, but you can at least be a good neighbour.
Contending with their “Truth”, Feelings
For some people, the truth is a very subjective thing, and it offends when they’re confronted with the fact that it isn’t. And the feelings- how not to deal with this is more feelings, trying to convince them that they’re right. It makes things worse.
Instead be logical, let them explain themselves- some people have to see how silly they sound to realize how silly they are. Present them with facts, proven information that they’re will-fully ignoring. This is when the defence mechanisms kick in- but this means that they’re listening to you.
Final Words
Here are the few deadly signs of self-righteousness. There’s no doubt; it’s HARD TO SEE THE SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS IN US. In fact, every time we do something good, the natural response is to have a certain amount of self-righteousness budding in our hearts.
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